dining etiquette

Meals and mealtimes in general are a far bigger deal in France than in the States. Most people know this and of course I was aware when I came, but I was nervous about eating occasional meals with my host family. What if I did something terribly rude without realizing it? So far I have not done anything egregious. Anyway, here are some mealtime differences (at least how we eat in this apartment, I can't promise it's always this way):

- It is perfectly acceptable to dirty the tablecloth because it's going to be shaken out the window after the meal anyway. Most of the time the bread is cut over the tablecloth, and one keeps their piece of bread next to the plate, not on it.

- Hands above table height at all times..don't put your hands in your lap.

- All cheeses have specific ways of being cut. Don't mix them up!

- Don't bring a bottle of wine to a meal if it's at someone else's house; they are cooking, so they know what wine will go with the meal.

- Specify if you don't want wine, because otherwise it will automatically be given to you.

- For first rounds, someone serves the dishes. Only after that do you serve yourself.

They always give me a napkin (cloth of course) that goes in this little cloth bag with a drawstring. I'm not sure why it needs a holder or why I'm the only one who gets one, but it confused me a little bit the first few times. So the second time I saw this mysterious little bag, I asked Aurelien what it was for, hoping I didn't sound too stupid. I was really worried I should know this. But he stared at it for a moment and said, "I have no idea. I've never seen it before."

I've been less worried about things since then.

Today I had dinner with Alain, Catherine, and Catherine's parents, who are probably in their early 70's. They're pretty cool, and didn't speak English the whole time - I'm not sure if they can. I was really excited, though, because Catherine's father speaks sort of slowly and enunciates very well, so I could understand nearly everything he said! I was quite proud of myself.

They discussed the upcoming birth of their first great-grandchild, who will be Catherine's great-nephew. There was the usual talk of oh, they feel old now, etc. But they had also just learned that the baby would be named Nathaniel and talked about the pros and cons of that name. I mentioned that Nathaniel is my nephew's middle name and they were quite pleasantly surprised, as if look! All those silly Americans aren't heathens after all! I told the great-grandma to be his whole name and she was more impressed, and decided she might try to talk her grandson into considering my nephew's first name (in French, of course). I think I was approved.