Bar mitzvah, French style!

It's much the same as bar mitzvah, American style, except on a (docked) boat.  Buffet of appetizers followed by dinner; DJ/performer with slightly-too-loud popular music; friends of the boy's family making up many of the attendees, awkward dancing.

What was different: the cake!  It basically a model of the front area of a synagogue, where the boy reads from during his bar mitzvah.  It had the table from which the Torah is read (bimah?), the scrolls on top of that, and the ark.  It was all very intricate and also, huge.  I have to say, I'm not sure I feel right eating a model of the Torah.

The guest demographics were also different.  It appeared that the boy didn't really have any friends of his own there - I think all the kids around his age were his cousins or children of family friends.  The vast majority of the people there were adults, friends of the boy's parents.  I don't know how it is in other places, but at the bar mitzavhs I've been to it's usually about half family/family friends and half the boy's own friends.  Secondly, I would guess around 95% of the attendees were Jewish - also unusual in comparison to others I've attended.

DC, the oldest child in the family I'm au-pairing for, told me at the start that she felt there was enough anti-Semitism and ignorance of Judiasm in Paris that she wouldn't necessarily want to invite her friends, had she had a bat mitzvah (she didn't).  She said there was only one other Jewish kid in her grade, and they're not friends.  She goes to a Catholic school.  Anyway, I asked her if she wouldn't want to invite her friends if they weren't Jewish and she said no...because they'd probably think it was weird.

I'm not really sure how right she is, either about the general low-level anti-Semitism, or that her friends would think it's weird.  They probably would be very unfamiliar with it, true - because they've never been to one.  It was clear though that she'd be uncomfortable with it, and it seemed her mother felt the same way.  Also she said it's rare for girls to have bat mitzvah parties in France unless the family has only daughters.

So I asked if she thought it was weird that I would go to this one (aside from that fact that I was working a lot of the time while there).  She said no, because "you're from New York!"  Fair point?

It was clear as well that as a whole this party had much more of a religious undertone than many bar mitzvahs I've been to, which are basically parties. 

Having said that, you'll probably think it's weird when I tell you the theme was Michael Jackson.  It was!  Every table had a two photos - one of the boy and one of Michael Jackson.  The DJ took great delight in taking Michael Jackson requests, and at the end the boy showed off his best Jackson moves.  Actually, he and two of his brothers were excellent mini-breakdancers and could do a mean moonwalk.  The party favors included keychains with a cute little Michael doll.

So what did I do during this party?  Mostly I ran after some kids and grabbed finger foods when I had a moment.  I was looking after baby boy O and 3 year old girl M, two of the kids from "my" family, and baby girl C, the little sister of the boy being bar mitzvahed.

O is a sweet, placid little thing and gave me no trouble.  M reminds me VERY strongly of my niece E, who is also three.  Anyone who has been around E probably knows what I mean - quite stubborn, fearless, energetic, diva-ish, and generally um..somewhat difficult to control.  But she's very affectionate and fun to be around.  I'm okay with both of them, as long as O doesn't grow up to be like his sister!  That would truly be a handful.

But little C, who is a gorgeous baby with the most beautiful blue-green eyes and dark blond curls, was kind of a nightmare.  And what I imagine I was probably like as a baby (if the stories are to be believed).  She basically hates anyone who is not one of her parents, though she'll tolerate her brothers as long as they're being entertaining.  I looked after her while her parents were doing official bar mitzvah business and every time they handed her off she would wail!  Not screaming, but the saddest, most miserable cry, and she wouldn't stop.  Most babies will give up after a while or at least calm somewhat, but she didn't.  The only thing I could do to settle her at all was put her in her stroller and push it around a bit.  She also liked when O would come to see her - they're both around 14 months.  Even then, though, she'd remember every once in a while that she wasn't with her parents and cry again.  Then she'd cry when I took her out of the stroller.

I would definitely go insane if I had to look after her all the time.  It brought to mind a story my mother loves to tell, about the time an older cousin helped take care of me for a few days when I was a baby and afterwards swore she'd never have children.  Now she has three kids, so obviously it wasn't THAT traumatic.